When They Lost Her
by precillia
Summary: Kakashi wishes that his precious students never go through the same pain as he did. But life was twisted and so was being a ninja.
1. Prolugue

It was finally the day of his leave to train for the final chuunin exams did Sasuke realized that he still had no idea what Gaara's weaknesses were.

They were going to be opponents for the last upcoming fight in the Chuunin exams and he was still left clueless on how to outwin him.

But that only strengthened his resolve. He will find a way and he will make sure of it.

He walked the path to the gates heavily packed and knew that Kakashi would be late, so he decided to train in the forest that was just near their meeting point.

Just a light training to stretch his muscles would do. It wasn't his intention to drain his strength when he knew they'd travel miles away for God knows how long.

Feeling at ease for the very first time that month had been quite surprising even for him.

He was going to face a killer on the battlefield but here he was throwing his kunai leisurely like a four year old.

Maybe a change in routine is what he needed, is what he thought.

So he settled for a few taijutsu moves. Kicking a tree trunk and swinging his arms, concocting different combos, and experimenting new moves.

It had already been an hour, and he was sweating from the heat of the sun.

His now dirty and sweat-soaked clothes irritated him so he took a dash back to his apartment, and took a quick shower and change, only for him to be back just in time to see Kakashi waiting for him in the gates.

"Sasuke, you know I don't tolerate tardiness." His hypocritical sensei said.

"This is the first time I saw you ever late for something, I guess you don't care about this training after all" He said with a hint of amusement.

This only made Sasuke glare at his sensei

"I was already here a couple of hours ago before you showed up Kakashi." Sasuke said.

"Oh really but how come you just arrived? And it looks like you just showered. Oh my..."

Kakashi feigned in exasperation. "You actually slept in." Kakashi put the back of his hand to his forehead in fake shame.

"Baka-Sensei! I started training in the woods a few hours ago in our orignal waiting time because you always arrive late. I got home and showered because I had already sweat so much but by that time I finished training, you still had not arrived."

Kakashi only laughed sheepishly.

"I helped an elderly woman-" Kakashi was cut off by Sasuke continuing his sentence.

"cross the street, it wasn't in my nindo way to ignore her, yea Kakashi that's new." Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Alright, alright, that's enough talk for now. We're already so behind. Let's get going." Kakashi said as he scratched his head. And chuckled.

God, He just realized Sasuke had a sassy mouth, maybe his team mates were rubbing off on him.

The single thought in itself was funny, but it made Kakashi relieved. Knowing that Sasuke was finally getting in harmony with his teammates. He was slowly making progress and he wasn't pushing them away like before.

When he was a twelve year-old, Kakashi related to Sasuke so much. He liked to isolate himself the same way Sasuke did.

He only follows what's just and he didn't like socializing. He pretty much keeps to himself and only cares about improving his skills, because that was his only way of coping his pain and loneliness.

Sasuke already went through a lot of trauma.

He just wishes Sasuke wouldn't go through what he already had.

Kakashi out of the blue, gave a sullen look as he along with his student walked the path to their destination.

Kakashi thought of her... _'Rin...'_ he looked up and smile pitifully.

He still wondered after all the years that had passed.

if Obito was alive, what would he think? He'd be so angry, disappointed, maybe even seek revenge and hate him for the rest of his life.

But he wasn't

Obito left them first.

He couldn't protect him. But after his great loss. Faith just had began becoming more twisted .

He lost her too...

He still failed to protect her.

The only teammate he began to treasure more.

Before the anguish Obito had left them. It had caused him to stick with his female teamate more. Always bothering where she was, always accompanying her whenever she went. In those times that they grew closer, they learned new things from each other.

Her constant appearance was what reassured him that everything would be okay. But time was never long, for them.

Rin's death was his greatest downfall.

He couldn't wake up from it, it continued to haunt him. It was suffocating.

Painful, like a sharp kunai to his lungs and burning hot like the acid itself as he hurled his stomach away.

Everday, felt like his existence was a joke to the humanity. Everyday, he feels like he never deserved to live, Everyday, All the built up anxiety would summersault, and attack him before his sleep. And by the time he did fall asleep did he wish he never did so.

Because all he ever saw were the graphic images of her dead eyes, and his bloody, bloody hands as he watched his arm slowly sink into her lovely chest.

Her heart.

It happened so quickly, but he watched it like time initially delayed it for him, and it replayed inside his head like a broken video tape, always rewinding. The white noises creeping and making high pitched noises, messing with his mind as the strings of its tape now lay there a jumble of disaster on the ground.

Just like him.

Suicide was one thing he hated most in this world, as his father had triggered him to loath this method of death. Because to him it was a form of self-pity, a cheat to death if you would mean. And a way of escapism.

But now that he began to think of it...

He felt imprisoned. Of course he wanted to escape this hell.

But his father's condition had taught him that maybe, just maybe there might be something out there, someting more. He didn't know what it was but he continued to clucth tightly into his vindication.

He was stuck in life, clutching desparately for something to haul him out in this deep black sea.

He didn't know what to do. It was a just miracle how he grasped his sanity back. Someone had actually pulled him out. But that person was no longer alive as well.

Losing a person for him that time never really suprised him anymore.

He didnt know how to wake up from this wretched dream.

He guesses he never will.

His whole being and existence was already attached to that nightmare he lived through. And it will always be apart of his life. Continuing to haunt him in his every waking day.

He just hopes that his students never go through the same thing.

"Sensei " Sasuke started.

Kakashi looked down at his student beside him. His eyes softened.

"This is the part where we start leaping."

Kakashi let out a breath. And smirked at the young boy beside him.

"Yes, we'll go northwest from here. Head 25 miles further east, And find shelter when we go past the boarders." Kakashi said.

Sasuke nodded.

And they both began running through the trees with chakra enchanced footing.

Kakashi still deeply hopes that nothing as sadistic as he experienced would ever happen to his precious little students.

He prays that they never go throughthe same kind of pain he went through.

However, as twisted and sadistic life is for them.

Death can't ever be stopped. Even moreso when they are ninjas.


	2. The Price Of Power

A.N./ Hi before you read this, know that this story will be set on team seven's genin arc. With Sasuke having his fresh cursed seal. And the chuunin finals coming along the way.

as for pairings I will be pretty straight forward about it. Pairings will be hinted in the future chapters if you are wondering.

anyway, I started off this fic basedly upon boredom and my neglected spilling creativity. I didn't know where to throw it all away but on a fanfic.But, honestly most of these are unedited and only word vommitted. So if you don't like unpolished stories then you shouldn't read this one. lol.

I'm not a great writer, I'm more of an artist so I'd accept any form of critique or opinions for this matter, since I still don't have a proper grasp on this field.

anyway, I hope you like Kakashi as a dad

LASTLY

if you have any questions you can tell it on the reviews or send me a private message.

English is not my mother toungue, so I hope most of you reading this fic will be patient about it. I'm not great with using metaphors so bear with me, as I am still learning.

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy!

_

_Present_

Everything happened in a blur.

His hands trembled as his eyes widened. in Horrendous disbelief. The sharp object he held had been bathe with even more blood.

and it was hers to be speciffic.

The skies roared and he cried.

His world turned red. A sharp vivid color, so alarming, too deathly, and too lifeless. even for her. It was too much for someone like her.

Her green eyes dulled like the skies as it cried, grey and what remaining shimmer of life it had held moments ago were nothing but a fickle of memories that had passed just a few seconds ago. Her fake whisphered promises and her last breath had gone along with her, as life had left her.

This was all too much.

_What was this twisted reality?_

He did this to her.

His hands trembled and the crimson bathed kunai he held clanked on the thick branch they were situated in.

"NOOOO!!!!!" He howled. He pulled at his hair and panicked. This wasn't supposed to happen, He was supposed to get help, he was supposed to save her. This wasn't-. His stomach churned and his chest burned painfully. Burning his throat and making his insides undescribably horrible.

This was not his decision. He told her he couldn't ever do it. She didn't have the right to.But she still made the decision for him.

He continued to stare at her terrifyingly.

"Y-you... You're so cruel..." Sasuke's voice started to crack and waver. He stared at her lifeless eyes. He grabbed her pretty face with the both of his hands.

"HOW COULD YOU!!??" Sasuke roared on her face. as he cried loudly. The smoke on the area and the quaking sounds from miles away shook their surroundings.

It was a disaster.

Why did it had to be him? why did this had to happen?He asked himself.

He pushed on the wound on her chest knowing his desparate efforts were futile.

"Shit,Shit ,Shit!!!!"

But he comtinued solely because He couldn't bear it. He couldn't ever accept it.

"Fuck you! Fuck you!!! You promised me!!!!" he choked on his cries from his crimson bathed lips. His head throbbed horrendouly as blood dripped from his eyes along with the salty taste of his tears.

Her once beautiful hair now mudded, clung on her skin, and bathed in blood being washed away by the rain.

"How could you do this to me!?"

Her jade green eyes that were always so full of life were now nothing but the gaze of the skies. It mocked him with its rain. Her eyes were now empty and unresponsive.

He thought he was done with crying but here he was again like his 4 year old self.

And lost someone truly precious to him.

Broken sounds continued to escape from his lips as he clung desparately on her form. hoping for some sort of impossible turn of events or a miracle to happen.

He sobbed as he grabbed both of her shoulders roughly.

"FUCK YOU! I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU IF YOU DO THIS TO ME!" How terrfying can this world even get when it comes to him?

Desperately clinging on to a false hope that she still had a chance.

However admist all that,

A somewhat different pattern presented itself on his sharingan activated eyes. what he felt slowly dawned on him. He was truly petrified

This was it. It was truly happening. The surge of power became so overwhelming but the anguish he was feeling can't ever comprehend it. And the horrifying truth had been set out. He couldn't believe it.

He really... He really lost her.

"Gah!" his frustrated screams echoed in the air

he slapped his eyes scratched, and pulled at it. This wasn't supposed to happen!

"No! Don't do this to me! Godamnit! I don't need it yet! I'm not ready!"

"I'm not ready!!!"

He confessed his self dawning realization. He never imagined he could say these words. Yet here he was shouting it at skies.

Was this the true price of power? Was this what it was suppose to feel like while obtaining it?

The stench of blood continued to flow from her freshly impaled wound.

A wound that was created by his hands. A wound that she made him do.

He had vowed himself to protect her no matter the obstacle or difficulty. He didn't need people to tell him that he needed to. He just knew he had to and he did.

Yet here he was whi stole her life, clutching on her lifeless form. Nothing but a soulless body that bleeds in his arms. As he silently prayed to himself or a God that this was just a dream. A nightmare he could wake up from.

But the coolness of her flesh and the numbing pain in his head as the cold rain washed upon them all felt so real.

He just needed her to look straight at him. He just needed her to give him that warm smile he receives only from her.

He just needed her to say his name.

"SAKURA!!!" His anguish cries were muted by the falling debris of disaster around them.The smoke foggy and covering them as the ground shook and everything fell apa**r**t.

The battles continued between two roaring huge jinchurikis that rampaged on a disasterous level.

One insane and a lonely soul, and one in anguish and in unstoppable mass of destruction.

_Flashback from a few hours ago._

"Again." a commanding voice said. "I have to remind you that we shouldn't delay for anymore mistakes." Kakashi said sternly.

Today was finally the day of the tournament. And Sasuke still had not polished this technique. They were walking on thin ice here, If he still didn't master it according on time he would get disqualified, and if they did make it out in time without mastering this technique then he'd possibly die in that battlefield.

Sasuke was beginning to feel frustrated with himself.

The twelve year old raven haired boy groaned, his form hunched back and stumbling slightly, as he clutched onto his pained neck. The burning black marks were beginning to spread throughout his entire form. As a wash of foreign power engulfed him. Sasuke glared at his teacher.

"Shut up!" he said frustatedly and huffed as he tried to catch his breath.

The curse seal was painful, Hot and searing into his entire core. But nothing like the first weeks he had it.

Somehow, he had managed to supress it back to it's confines before the marks completely took over him. Anko had shown him how to repel and tap only what's neccesarry of the raw power. And he'd been silently thankful to her even though he hated her guts.

Training with Kakashi had been proved to be difficult. He expected that, it only got more annoying when the snake sannin imparted him with this disgusting gift. However, to him as power came, he can't help but consider it. If he can defeat Itachi with this curse, then so be it. He just wishes it didn't have to come to that situation.

Balancing out the flow of the chakra was considered an ardous task. Especially when he was still learning chidori.

It got in the way of his training a lot, because the surge of power was too overwhelming and, Mostly, Whenever he summons a chidori, his chakra tends to charge too much power, it forcibly blasts the technique before it was even made. It was dangerous, and would more than likely damage his chakra nerves.

But he won't let a mere injury stop him from getting what he wants.

So he stands up and repeats those hand signs to complete yet the same Jutsu. He just had to make sure he didn't blow his arms off.

And in one last cry he shouted.

"Chidori!" Sasuke roared, as a purple glow of thousands of chirping birds resounded in the forest. The ninjutsu was prominently presenting itself. A perfect example of what Kakashi would call a Chidori.

Its violet lightning strings of sofisticated patterns snapped in random movement. Ticking and clawing, as if it would pulverize the fleshes of whom grazed it. But not him. He wielded the lightning as if it was tamed by him. It was truly a remarkable but deadly jutsu. He'd hate to give Kakashi some credit. But it proved to be a useful jutsu still in the future.

He quickly dispelled it and looked up at his sensei for approval.

Kakashi gave out a huff of breath. His lone eye closed and a sigh of relief awashed his face.

Sasuke smirked triumphantly, all they needed to do now was run towards the tornament. Which was also the most irritating part. Tardiness was something he did not tolerate and here he was running really late like Kakashi.

"Let's go." Sasuke said quickly and walked past ahead his sensei. But he was cut of by Kakashi.

"Wait." Kakashi stopped Sasuke. His back was towards him and sensing his impatience. "What is it now?" His student asked as he glared at him. His impatience anost getting ahead of him.

Kakashi walked in front of him and grasped one of his shoulder. He had on a serious expression.

"Sasuke, before we go, You have to promise me, that you'll only use that jutsu to protect the ones you care about.

Kakshi's question felt heavy on the air. Sasuke rolled his eyes. '_he seriously still has to ask me something stupid like that?_ Sensing his urgency he didn't want more room for arguing anymore. So, he settled his eyes towards his sensei seriously, claiming their agreement.

"Fine." He agreed. '_Tsk_, _baka sensei_.' What did his teacher think of him?

The mood seemed to shift and Kakashi's eyes wrinkled in relief, as he smiled down at his student.

"Very well...That's enough for now. We have to run, or you'll get disqualified."

_

Naruto ran along the streets of Konoha. The sun was beaming and the clear blue sky reflecting on his deep ocean eyes were flashing from his fast paced movement.

The cool wind brushing his form felt refreshing, and it made the smile on his face stretch even more. He's perfectly aware that the tournament is just a few hours away.

He beamed in excitement and rushed into the training grounds to pick up Sakura. He couldn't wait to beat some people up with his fist and actually have a real fight. But, he was mostly ecstatic to use this new trick Jiraiya had taught him.

He was excited to see the people who will watch him. He'll get to prove them that they thought wrong of him.

But mostly... He couldn't wait to see Sasuke's face once he pulled out this new special technique.

Naruto snickered at this. "Sasuke-teme better give off a great fight because I am totally offering him one!" after saying that outloud He puched a fist in the air.

Naruto continued to get lost in his daydreaming and smile even more, Really he was that excited. Especially when he thinks about how Sakura will react to him when he finally defeats Sasuke.

_'Oh man just wait and see when Sakura sees my new jutsu! She'll be all over me! 'she'll think i'm so cool dattebayo!' Naruto snickered to himself._

Slowing his movements, he continued to pace forward a few more towards the training grounds, and saw a flash of bright pastel pink. Speak of the devil, People could never go wrong with that hair color. His day couldn't get any better, as he smiled and waved at his crush.

"Sakura-Chan!" He shouted a few meters away.

"Naruto! You're early, that's a suprise." Her green eyes matched their surroundings, Full of nature and life.

Sakura gave off an incredulous look but she quickly shrugged it off. '_Guess he's that excited.' _She really couldn't blame him, Since she was perfectly aware what day it was today.

"Aww c'mon Sakura-Chan! Give me some more credit! i've been training so hard for this day to finally come dattebayo!"

She smiled inwardly, The tournament was just a few ticks away, that meant she was finally going to see Sasuke again. She really misses him. It's been over a month of him training outside the village, and she had longed to finally see him again. But that was not only the reason. She mostly worries about him especuallt because of what happened back at the forest of death.

"Yea! and I hope you won't do anything stupid by then." Sakura said.

She knows Naruto will do great on the tournament, and Sasuke will do even more amazing. She just wishes she was part of the finals too. She feels so left behind. '_Why do I always have to watch behind their backs?'_ However, Her sulken thought was quickly interrupted when Naruto continued to talk joviously.

"Anyway! I can't wait to show off this new special trick up my sleeve! It will literally blow everybody's panties away!!!"

Sakura smacked Naruto on the head.

"BAKA NARUTO!" Sakura gave him her scary glare and stormed off.

She huffed and marched ahead of his rumpled form. "Let's go! we'll just meet Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke-kun at the tournament!" She said irriratingly

Naruto struggled to get up from the ground. His head was forming a huge red lump as his eye twitched.

_'That Baka- Naruto so early in the morning for his pervy mouth! Shanaroo!'_

After a few more moments of their walking towards their destination.

Sakura couldn't help herself but recall what had happened to her team back at the the forest of death.

'_Sasuke-kun...'_

_

As the fights went on from the following examinees unfold. Each match resembled the hardwork the ninjas had put into. All of them improved their skills a matter of weeks and it was just astonishing to watch.

However, Sakura's worries only continued to grow tenfold, as she watched from afar. Squinting her eyes around the crown of people's head. "Gosh where are they?" as she continued to search For the Raven haired boy and their masked sensei. They won't be able to make it in time if they keep this up. 2 more matches and the tournament will soon be over.

The people all crowded to watch on the bleachers while the remaining rookie 9 examninees situated thenselves on the balcony closest to the arena.

"Hey billboard brow? Where the heck is Sasuke-kun?!" Ino bickered as accusingly as she tried to find the boy she fancies. whilst Ino's two teamates were tailing behind her.

"Uzumaki Naruto will go up against Hyuuga Neji!" The proctor shouted on his microphone.

The people around them stared at Naruto.

"Maaan, where are Kakashi sensei and that teme?" Naruto huffed a breath irritatingly. "I guess that's my queue. Cheer for me Sakura will ya?" Naruto gave her a cheeky smile.

Sakura rolled her eyes but smiled and nodded in response. "Goodluck Naruto!"

"Thanks!" He shouted as he neared the raik and jump from it.

"Alright Neji! I'm going to shove down that fate and whatnot down your throat and beat your arse so hard for what you did to Hinata-Chan dattebayo!"

A.N./ Okay, Chapter 1 is finally done!


End file.
